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    signs that you're in danger of making a fateful decision
steve farris
With so many church leaders falling into moral failure, it's easy to assume those people were just motoring along in their walk with Christ and it just happened. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) it doesn't happen like that at all. There are actually signs to watch for that can help you tell when you're beginning to head down the wrong road. Here are a few of the signs:
- Self-Reliance This is the first (and most subtle) trap to watch for. Self-reliance means that we begin to do ministry and live our life from our own power and abilities instead of complete dependence on Jesus. When we decide (even sub-consciously) that we don't need God we are sitting ducks for temptation and a fall.
- Self-Assurance This is the That'll never happen to me thought. The fact is, nobody dives into moral failure. Instead, they wade in slowly. Realize that moral failure can happen (and does) to anybody (including you).
- Time In God's Word For Ministry Instead of Building Your Relationship with Him If you find that the only time you're spending in God's Word is when you're preparing a talk or Bible study for your students, watch out. This is a great sign of self-reliance and will eventually lead to other poor decisions.
- Lack Of Accountability If you don't have people in your life who have permission to ask you the tough questions or if you're feeding them false answers when they do ask, DANGER!
- Not Enough Time With Family If you're married and care about your family and your ministry, make the effort to take an inventory of your time spent with your family. Are you out more than a few nights per week? Are you working late at the office, or alone or with a co-worker of the opposite sex? These are Do Not Enter signs. Turn back before it's too late.
- Wrong Time With The Wrong People Its one thing to say, never be alone with anyone of the opposite sex. (Students, volunteers, etc.) But actually, the warning signs start long before the obvious.
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Emails that you wouldn't want someone else to read.
-
Instant messaging late at night.
-
Harmless gifts exchanged.
-
Daydreaming about the other person is a sign that things have gone too far.
If you've reached this point you are about to make a dreadful wrong turn. This is when you find yourself spending time alone with someone of the opposite sex in a planned way (Such as asking them to sit with you at an event or on a trip; a lunch or dinner meeting or even long talks on the phone.) Take action now to put things in reverse before you do something that will hurt you, your family, your credibility and your ministry for years to come.
Action Steps to Safety:
- COME TO GRIPS Many times, when people are involved in unhealthy relationships, they are blinded to the fact that what they're doing is dangerous and wrong. Ask God to open your eyes to your situation. By the way, this requires two tough virtues: humility and brokenness. Until you embrace those, you can't be helped.
- TELL SOMEONE Whether you think you might be on the path to moral failure or you've already messed up; STOP and tell someone. You're going to be found out eventually and the sooner you go public and get help, the faster the healing process can begin.
- COMMIT TO HEALING I heard about a pastor recently, who had an affair, left his church, stayed with his mistress and went to start a new church in the same town. I can think of few things more damaging to God's church and people! While it is true that God still has a plan for your life, even if you've failed morally its critical to realize that there must be a season of mourning and healing. ( Depending on the situation, this could take years ) The best thing you can do for yourself, your family and your ministry during this time is to embrace humility and be teachable. Only then can God begin to restore you.
http://www.simplyyouthministry.com/community-articles-from-the-field.html
steve farris
With so many church leaders falling into moral failure, it's easy to assume those people were just motoring along in their walk with Christ and it just happened. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) it doesn't happen like that at all. There are actually signs to watch for that can help you tell when you're beginning to head down the wrong road. Here are a few of the signs:
- Self-Reliance This is the first (and most subtle) trap to watch for. Self-reliance means that we begin to do ministry and live our life from our own power and abilities instead of complete dependence on Jesus. When we decide (even sub-consciously) that we don't need God we are sitting ducks for temptation and a fall.
- Self-Assurance This is the That'll never happen to me thought. The fact is, nobody dives into moral failure. Instead, they wade in slowly. Realize that moral failure can happen (and does) to anybody (including you).
- Time In God's Word For Ministry Instead of Building Your Relationship with Him If you find that the only time you're spending in God's Word is when you're preparing a talk or Bible study for your students, watch out. This is a great sign of self-reliance and will eventually lead to other poor decisions.
- Lack Of Accountability If you don't have people in your life who have permission to ask you the tough questions or if you're feeding them false answers when they do ask, DANGER!
- Not Enough Time With Family If you're married and care about your family and your ministry, make the effort to take an inventory of your time spent with your family. Are you out more than a few nights per week? Are you working late at the office, or alone or with a co-worker of the opposite sex? These are Do Not Enter signs. Turn back before it's too late.
- Wrong Time With The Wrong People Its one thing to say, never be alone with anyone of the opposite sex. (Students, volunteers, etc.) But actually, the warning signs start long before the obvious.
-
Emails that you wouldn't want someone else to read.
-
Instant messaging late at night.
-
Harmless gifts exchanged.
-
Daydreaming about the other person is a sign that things have gone too far.
If you've reached this point you are about to make a dreadful wrong turn. This is when you find yourself spending time alone with someone of the opposite sex in a planned way (Such as asking them to sit with you at an event or on a trip; a lunch or dinner meeting or even long talks on the phone.) Take action now to put things in reverse before you do something that will hurt you, your family, your credibility and your ministry for years to come.
Action Steps to Safety:
- COME TO GRIPS Many times, when people are involved in unhealthy relationships, they are blinded to the fact that what they're doing is dangerous and wrong. Ask God to open your eyes to your situation. By the way, this requires two tough virtues: humility and brokenness. Until you embrace those, you can't be helped.
- TELL SOMEONE Whether you think you might be on the path to moral failure or you've already messed up; STOP and tell someone. You're going to be found out eventually and the sooner you go public and get help, the faster the healing process can begin.
- COMMIT TO HEALING I heard about a pastor recently, who had an affair, left his church, stayed with his mistress and went to start a new church in the same town. I can think of few things more damaging to God's church and people! While it is true that God still has a plan for your life, even if you've failed morally its critical to realize that there must be a season of mourning and healing. ( Depending on the situation, this could take years ) The best thing you can do for yourself, your family and your ministry during this time is to embrace humility and be teachable. Only then can God begin to restore you.
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