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    left for dead by the church
adam mclane
Right out of college, I relocated my family to the West Coast to pour my life into a group of students. Like many other people, I was transitioning out of the business world and into full-time youth ministry with idealistic expectations. That summer as I drove west, my mind was filled with dreams, hopes, and aspirations as all involved were certain that I was God’s chosen man for the job.
However, it was clear from my first day that I had been sold a bill of goods my employer had no intent on fulfilling. Within a matter of weeks I discovered that I had made a colossal mistake. From my perspective the harder I worked, the more I tried to depend on God to help me lead, the worse my ministry got. I was unsupported and insolated from other staff. The volunteers I had hoped would help me grow the youth group quickly quit. The lay leadership who hired me praised me in private but blasted me in meetings.
Always the optimist, I didn’t want to see that it was a bad fit so I just kept trying to make it work. And it continued to get worse until, less than a year later, we all agreed that I wasn’t right for the job.
I wasn’t troubled that I made such a mistake in taking the job. Nor did it bother me that I had taken such a tremendous risk and failed. I believe that being confident in God often means taking great risks. But what did bother me was how I was treated as we left one community and moved to another church.
Most of the leaders took turns telling me how awful I had been as a minister at their church. Words like “unqualified,” “uncooperative,” and “disorganized” rang in my head as I relived every moment and decision repeatedly. Likewise, attacks were made against me as a husband and father, with some even openly criticizing my wife. If it hadn’t been for the encouragement of longtime friends I don’t think I would have continued pursuing full-time ministry.
Fortunately, for my family, I was prepared and quickly secured a position with a church that was a better fit. Bruised and wiser, we moved to another state and started over.
But for many others, they are not so fortunate. When it happened to me, I thought it was a fluke. I thought, “Certainly, this couldn’t be the experience of others in ministry? Certainly the church, as a whole, is a good employer?” But as the years have passed, I’ve learned that what happened to me is strikingly common.
Predictable Patterns
Somewhere there must be a manual that some senior pastors read called “Ways to Destroy a Youth Worker” because the pattern of hurt is predictable. (This article is describing a termination for reasons other than moral failure where immediate removal is required for the protection of the church and its students.)
There are secret meetings where a decision is made as well as a “story” developed that will be told publicly. A meeting with the youth worker is arranged. The youth worker, blindsided, is told lies about his ministry or confronted with a politically charged issue. He is then offered a financial package in exchange for agreeing to this story. The youth worker is forbidden from saying goodbye to his students and volunteers, all he is allowed to do is repeat the story the leadership wants or else he risks losing the financial package. As soon as the youth worker has left the job, the church leaders spread lies about the youth workers ministry, relationships, or even family in order to justify the firing.
The reality is that the church is letting staff go in ways that would be considered immoral or illegal outside of the non-profit world, much less in ways that honor Christ’s most basic teachings.
We don’t argue that pastors and church leadership boards are not allowed to manage and change staff. As associate level workers, we all understand the nature of our positions. We know that things change and that we are replaceable. We know and even anticipate that an organization’s leadership needs to adjust to meet present needs. We are arguing that what is required of the church is professionalism in making these changes.
Getting Involved
Hundreds of youth workers are being mistreated by their churches annually. These are people who have heard the call of God and responded by entering full-time ministry. They knew that doing so would come at a cost to them personally, but they had no idea that the most painful part of ministry would come from co-laborers in serving Christ.
As this happens to your friends in ministry, be bold in encouraging them. Go out of your way to walk along side them through the emotional loss of a job and the loss of trust in the church. Help them get connected to a church that will allow them the time and space to heal. For many, just worshipping with believers may be hard. One youth worker described his first time at a church after being fired and said, “I stood up to worship, I knew the song but the words wouldn’t come out. I just stood there and cried.” Getting connected with an interim church is a major part of the healing process.
More tangibly speaking, would you be willing to help a youth worker who has been left for dead? You could walk with someone through this tough time. You could open your home or even give financially so they can pay their bills or get the counseling they need. You could help him or her find a place where they can go to just decompress for a time without the pressure of everything else going on. Let’s bring healing to our wounded co-laborers. Let’s breathe life back into them by reaching out.
And if this story resonated with your own, I want to hear from you. You can reach me by email at adam@ymexchange.com.
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http://www.simplyyouthministry.com/community-articles-from-the-field.html
adam mclane
Right out of college, I relocated my family to the West Coast to pour my life into a group of students. Like many other people, I was transitioning out of the business world and into full-time youth ministry with idealistic expectations. That summer as I drove west, my mind was filled with dreams, hopes, and aspirations as all involved were certain that I was God’s chosen man for the job.
However, it was clear from my first day that I had been sold a bill of goods my employer had no intent on fulfilling. Within a matter of weeks I discovered that I had made a colossal mistake. From my perspective the harder I worked, the more I tried to depend on God to help me lead, the worse my ministry got. I was unsupported and insolated from other staff. The volunteers I had hoped would help me grow the youth group quickly quit. The lay leadership who hired me praised me in private but blasted me in meetings.
Always the optimist, I didn’t want to see that it was a bad fit so I just kept trying to make it work. And it continued to get worse until, less than a year later, we all agreed that I wasn’t right for the job.
I wasn’t troubled that I made such a mistake in taking the job. Nor did it bother me that I had taken such a tremendous risk and failed. I believe that being confident in God often means taking great risks. But what did bother me was how I was treated as we left one community and moved to another church.
Most of the leaders took turns telling me how awful I had been as a minister at their church. Words like “unqualified,” “uncooperative,” and “disorganized” rang in my head as I relived every moment and decision repeatedly. Likewise, attacks were made against me as a husband and father, with some even openly criticizing my wife. If it hadn’t been for the encouragement of longtime friends I don’t think I would have continued pursuing full-time ministry.
Fortunately, for my family, I was prepared and quickly secured a position with a church that was a better fit. Bruised and wiser, we moved to another state and started over.
But for many others, they are not so fortunate. When it happened to me, I thought it was a fluke. I thought, “Certainly, this couldn’t be the experience of others in ministry? Certainly the church, as a whole, is a good employer?” But as the years have passed, I’ve learned that what happened to me is strikingly common.
Predictable Patterns
Somewhere there must be a manual that some senior pastors read called “Ways to Destroy a Youth Worker” because the pattern of hurt is predictable. (This article is describing a termination for reasons other than moral failure where immediate removal is required for the protection of the church and its students.)
There are secret meetings where a decision is made as well as a “story” developed that will be told publicly. A meeting with the youth worker is arranged. The youth worker, blindsided, is told lies about his ministry or confronted with a politically charged issue. He is then offered a financial package in exchange for agreeing to this story. The youth worker is forbidden from saying goodbye to his students and volunteers, all he is allowed to do is repeat the story the leadership wants or else he risks losing the financial package. As soon as the youth worker has left the job, the church leaders spread lies about the youth workers ministry, relationships, or even family in order to justify the firing.
The reality is that the church is letting staff go in ways that would be considered immoral or illegal outside of the non-profit world, much less in ways that honor Christ’s most basic teachings.
We don’t argue that pastors and church leadership boards are not allowed to manage and change staff. As associate level workers, we all understand the nature of our positions. We know that things change and that we are replaceable. We know and even anticipate that an organization’s leadership needs to adjust to meet present needs. We are arguing that what is required of the church is professionalism in making these changes.
Getting Involved
Hundreds of youth workers are being mistreated by their churches annually. These are people who have heard the call of God and responded by entering full-time ministry. They knew that doing so would come at a cost to them personally, but they had no idea that the most painful part of ministry would come from co-laborers in serving Christ.
As this happens to your friends in ministry, be bold in encouraging them. Go out of your way to walk along side them through the emotional loss of a job and the loss of trust in the church. Help them get connected to a church that will allow them the time and space to heal. For many, just worshipping with believers may be hard. One youth worker described his first time at a church after being fired and said, “I stood up to worship, I knew the song but the words wouldn’t come out. I just stood there and cried.” Getting connected with an interim church is a major part of the healing process.
More tangibly speaking, would you be willing to help a youth worker who has been left for dead? You could walk with someone through this tough time. You could open your home or even give financially so they can pay their bills or get the counseling they need. You could help him or her find a place where they can go to just decompress for a time without the pressure of everything else going on. Let’s bring healing to our wounded co-laborers. Let’s breathe life back into them by reaching out.
And if this story resonated with your own, I want to hear from you. You can reach me by email at adam@ymexchange.com.
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