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    true confessions of a 33-year old high school sophomore
scott greene
I am a professional youth worker meaning that I get paid to do what I do, and to be honest, I am probably more youth worker than professional. I can tell you how to get to the best hot dog place in town and also the best location to meet a student before school. However, if this were my E! True Hollywood story confession, I must admit that as much as I love serving God in student ministry, I would rather listen to NPR than watch MTV, and I know that the older I get, the less empathetic I can be towards students, their culture, and the predicaments that they find themselves in. Because of all this, I recently realized I needed a radical infusion of understanding for today's student culture. I needed a chance to understand their world like never before, an opportunity to gleam wisdom and understanding of what it is like to be sixteen in 2006, and a chance to connect with students so I might more effectively communicate with them in a way that they can understand and learn from. It may sound like the movie Billy Madison, a lame Conan O'Brian stunt, or the next Lindsay Lohan movie, but at age 33, I went back to high school for two weeks as a sophomore. It is an experience that will forever shape the way I look at students and student ministry.
With five classes, a locker, a student ID, and a guarantee for no special treatment, walking the halls of Warsaw High School as a 33-year old sophomore for two weeks was pretty overwhelming at points. I faced fears and insecurities that I haven't felt since I was in high school myself (back when Michael Jackson and mullets were cool). However, I gained a newfound respect for students and the pressures they face; demands on their time, emotions, their bodies, and their relationships. Here are a few observations that I made throughout my experience.
Day 3:
Today in Algebra, I needed to leave class early to talk to the principal about a few things. I packed up my stuff and went to tell my teacher that I was leaving. She looked at me and said, Are you asking me or telling me? Ouch! I then asked her and awkwardly acted like it was funny as I left. However, it was not really funny. One of the things I am beginning to understand is that students do not own their time. It does not belong to them. I am not saying that it is right or wrong, but this is just a fact. In my everyday world, if I am in a meeting scheduled to last an hour and have to use the restroom, I get up and go. If I want to eat lunch at 11:30 instead of at noon, I eat early. I forgot what it was like to not own my time and make personal decisions about it.
Day 5:
I wonder if students are searching for compelling reasons to get involved with life. I have observed some apathy in the last few days but not the level that I hear other adults talking about. Maybe the real issue is that we are not giving students compelling reasons to do homework, study for tests, stay pure, listen to authority, or even engage in life. When I was in high school, I was only able to think about two hours ahead (unless, of course, lunch was within that hour, then, I was only able to see about one hour instead. Maybe that has not changed that much in sixteen years!) Some adults get frustrated with students because they do not seem to care about homework, relationships, morality, or the future. However, have we given them a reason to care? Sure, maybe we have, but that reason has either leaked out
and needs filled back up or that reason is too far out in the future for them to be concerned. As a ten-year youth ministry veteran, I think I have cheated students by forgetting that truth sometimes just leaks out or is squeezed out by the pressures they constantly face. It is not enough to tell them once. Shame on me.
Day 8:
Drama! I don't mean drama class. I mean life drama. Students are telling me that they are tired of the drama that surrounds them. Boyfriends, girlfriends, he said, she said, I heard about. One student even shared with me that she spends a large part of her emotional energy every day avoiding drama. I must admit, the daily drama is one thing I don't miss about high school. I am glad it gets better as you grow older kind of.
Day 9:
It just hit me. I spend most of my days working at something I am pretty good at. I get to choose my career and the things I want to focus on. They are usually things that I have been divinely gifted to do or things that I enjoy. I am finding that student world is nothing like that. Every day, they spend a large portion of their hours trying to excel in areas that they are not exceptionally good at and possibly do not enjoy. I know this is a necessary part of education, but I guess I never thought about how frustrating that must be to spend a large part of your day being expected to excel in an area you are not naturally gifted at or possibly do not even enjoy.
Here are a few of the things I took away from my two weeks back in high school that I am attempting to implement as a youth pastor again.
All behavior has meaning.
As I sat in the classroom observing, (and trying to pay attention so I didn't get bad grades) I was reminded that almost every move our students make has a meaning. Sure, there are random acts of adolescence (R.A.O.A.), but our students are always trying to tell us something. While they may struggle to verbally express what is going on or how they feel, their actions and behaviors are communicating what is going on in their world.
Students feel like they are under constant pressure, and their feelings are very real to them even if they are not real to us.
Students are getting pressure from everyone. One student shared with me that he has thirteen bosses. When I pressed him to explain, he said, I have five teachers, one principal, two coaches, two employers, two parents, and a youth pastor. He went on to tell me that every one of these people has expectations for him and none of those expectations are low. It is no wonder that the survey information that I gathered on my website pointed out that nearly 30% of our students have persistent feeling of hopelessness, and 10% have recurring thoughts of death or suicide. They are feeling the pressure. They may not have a mortgage or hungry mouths to feed, but their pressures are very real to them. I must keep that in mind, especially if and when they let me down and do not measure up to the standards that I lay out.
We cannot ration attention.
As I watched students in their world, I noticed that they all want to excel, even if it means excelling at being bad. I think that we, as youth leaders and parents, run so fast and hard ourselves that it ends up requiring us to ration the attention that we give to students. Kids are longing for our love, attention, and focused time. They are longing to be known and want to be known well. Students know that those who excel get attention, so they are going to try and achieve greatness (even if it is in a negative category). Yes, greatness seems to yield the attention they are longing for. We must continue to connect with our students in a way that is not performance based and in a way that is consistent. It almost sounds like I am making a case for small group ministries with our students, doesn't it? We must carve out serious time and emotional energy for students and create environments and schedules that encourage Biblical community.
We are advocates.
Students want to speak for themselves, but sometimes they lack the life experience, wisdom, or even the knowledge to express what they are feeling and going through. As youth pastors and youth leaders, we are their advocates. We will be the ones who regularly enter into their world, seek to understand them, and help them understand their own world. We then need to go the final stretch and be the advocate for them to parents, teachers, and other adults. We need to be able to put to words what students cannot about their world. Christ came into our world and interceded on our behalf. As I see it, our mission as youth pastors and youth leaders is to follow the example that he set for us.
A note about school lunches and campus visits.
There is not a single youth pastor alive who has not stared at the doors of school before they walked in for a lunch visit and wondered, Will I come out of there alive what if they hate me I cannot do this. These thoughts are based on the common thread of misconceptions. We have all experienced this to some degree and once we move beyond it, we can then regularly enter into the schools, homes, and lives of the students we are called to reach. The feeling is real, but it is not based on truth (God has not given us a spirit of fear!) It is something we must overcome. Our students need us in their world. Not preaching to them or handing out Jesus frisbees and WWJD bracelets (side note, if you are going to do that, please just stay in your office!) They need us to sit with them, be normal, listen, and care enough to view their world with them, from where they are. This will enable us to shed the light of Godly wisdom on their seemingly dark and sometimes hopeless world.
Tips for Campus visits:
- Do not ever go alone. Take another youth leader or volunteer with you.
- Do not stay too long. Keep your visits short and sweet.
- Carry a cell phone, so if you get nervous, you can pretend to take an urgent call and leave.
- Write your visits in your calendar. If you do not schedule these times, you will find something easier to do.
- Keep going. Every time you go makes the next time easier.
- If the school will allow it, bring pizza with you. Pizza makes friends!
Want to try going back to school in your community. The Two Weeks Back experiment was designed from the beginning to be duplicated in communities around the country. Read more at www.twoweeksback.com.
Blog entries and a complete video diary of the Two Weeks Back experience are available at www.twoweeksback.com.
To schedule Scott to speak at your event or in your community, contact him directly at sgreene@wccconnect.com
http://www.simplyyouthministry.com/community-articles-from-the-field.html
scott greene
I am a professional youth worker meaning that I get paid to do what I do, and to be honest, I am probably more youth worker than professional. I can tell you how to get to the best hot dog place in town and also the best location to meet a student before school. However, if this were my E! True Hollywood story confession, I must admit that as much as I love serving God in student ministry, I would rather listen to NPR than watch MTV, and I know that the older I get, the less empathetic I can be towards students, their culture, and the predicaments that they find themselves in. Because of all this, I recently realized I needed a radical infusion of understanding for today's student culture. I needed a chance to understand their world like never before, an opportunity to gleam wisdom and understanding of what it is like to be sixteen in 2006, and a chance to connect with students so I might more effectively communicate with them in a way that they can understand and learn from. It may sound like the movie Billy Madison, a lame Conan O'Brian stunt, or the next Lindsay Lohan movie, but at age 33, I went back to high school for two weeks as a sophomore. It is an experience that will forever shape the way I look at students and student ministry.
With five classes, a locker, a student ID, and a guarantee for no special treatment, walking the halls of Warsaw High School as a 33-year old sophomore for two weeks was pretty overwhelming at points. I faced fears and insecurities that I haven't felt since I was in high school myself (back when Michael Jackson and mullets were cool). However, I gained a newfound respect for students and the pressures they face; demands on their time, emotions, their bodies, and their relationships. Here are a few observations that I made throughout my experience.
Day 3:
Today in Algebra, I needed to leave class early to talk to the principal about a few things. I packed up my stuff and went to tell my teacher that I was leaving. She looked at me and said, Are you asking me or telling me? Ouch! I then asked her and awkwardly acted like it was funny as I left. However, it was not really funny. One of the things I am beginning to understand is that students do not own their time. It does not belong to them. I am not saying that it is right or wrong, but this is just a fact. In my everyday world, if I am in a meeting scheduled to last an hour and have to use the restroom, I get up and go. If I want to eat lunch at 11:30 instead of at noon, I eat early. I forgot what it was like to not own my time and make personal decisions about it.
Day 5:
I wonder if students are searching for compelling reasons to get involved with life. I have observed some apathy in the last few days but not the level that I hear other adults talking about. Maybe the real issue is that we are not giving students compelling reasons to do homework, study for tests, stay pure, listen to authority, or even engage in life. When I was in high school, I was only able to think about two hours ahead (unless, of course, lunch was within that hour, then, I was only able to see about one hour instead. Maybe that has not changed that much in sixteen years!) Some adults get frustrated with students because they do not seem to care about homework, relationships, morality, or the future. However, have we given them a reason to care? Sure, maybe we have, but that reason has either leaked out
and needs filled back up or that reason is too far out in the future for them to be concerned. As a ten-year youth ministry veteran, I think I have cheated students by forgetting that truth sometimes just leaks out or is squeezed out by the pressures they constantly face. It is not enough to tell them once. Shame on me.
Day 8:
Drama! I don't mean drama class. I mean life drama. Students are telling me that they are tired of the drama that surrounds them. Boyfriends, girlfriends, he said, she said, I heard about. One student even shared with me that she spends a large part of her emotional energy every day avoiding drama. I must admit, the daily drama is one thing I don't miss about high school. I am glad it gets better as you grow older kind of.
Day 9:
It just hit me. I spend most of my days working at something I am pretty good at. I get to choose my career and the things I want to focus on. They are usually things that I have been divinely gifted to do or things that I enjoy. I am finding that student world is nothing like that. Every day, they spend a large portion of their hours trying to excel in areas that they are not exceptionally good at and possibly do not enjoy. I know this is a necessary part of education, but I guess I never thought about how frustrating that must be to spend a large part of your day being expected to excel in an area you are not naturally gifted at or possibly do not even enjoy.
Here are a few of the things I took away from my two weeks back in high school that I am attempting to implement as a youth pastor again.
All behavior has meaning.
As I sat in the classroom observing, (and trying to pay attention so I didn't get bad grades) I was reminded that almost every move our students make has a meaning. Sure, there are random acts of adolescence (R.A.O.A.), but our students are always trying to tell us something. While they may struggle to verbally express what is going on or how they feel, their actions and behaviors are communicating what is going on in their world.
Students feel like they are under constant pressure, and their feelings are very real to them even if they are not real to us.
Students are getting pressure from everyone. One student shared with me that he has thirteen bosses. When I pressed him to explain, he said, I have five teachers, one principal, two coaches, two employers, two parents, and a youth pastor. He went on to tell me that every one of these people has expectations for him and none of those expectations are low. It is no wonder that the survey information that I gathered on my website pointed out that nearly 30% of our students have persistent feeling of hopelessness, and 10% have recurring thoughts of death or suicide. They are feeling the pressure. They may not have a mortgage or hungry mouths to feed, but their pressures are very real to them. I must keep that in mind, especially if and when they let me down and do not measure up to the standards that I lay out.
We cannot ration attention.
As I watched students in their world, I noticed that they all want to excel, even if it means excelling at being bad. I think that we, as youth leaders and parents, run so fast and hard ourselves that it ends up requiring us to ration the attention that we give to students. Kids are longing for our love, attention, and focused time. They are longing to be known and want to be known well. Students know that those who excel get attention, so they are going to try and achieve greatness (even if it is in a negative category). Yes, greatness seems to yield the attention they are longing for. We must continue to connect with our students in a way that is not performance based and in a way that is consistent. It almost sounds like I am making a case for small group ministries with our students, doesn't it? We must carve out serious time and emotional energy for students and create environments and schedules that encourage Biblical community.
We are advocates.
Students want to speak for themselves, but sometimes they lack the life experience, wisdom, or even the knowledge to express what they are feeling and going through. As youth pastors and youth leaders, we are their advocates. We will be the ones who regularly enter into their world, seek to understand them, and help them understand their own world. We then need to go the final stretch and be the advocate for them to parents, teachers, and other adults. We need to be able to put to words what students cannot about their world. Christ came into our world and interceded on our behalf. As I see it, our mission as youth pastors and youth leaders is to follow the example that he set for us.
A note about school lunches and campus visits.
There is not a single youth pastor alive who has not stared at the doors of school before they walked in for a lunch visit and wondered, Will I come out of there alive what if they hate me I cannot do this. These thoughts are based on the common thread of misconceptions. We have all experienced this to some degree and once we move beyond it, we can then regularly enter into the schools, homes, and lives of the students we are called to reach. The feeling is real, but it is not based on truth (God has not given us a spirit of fear!) It is something we must overcome. Our students need us in their world. Not preaching to them or handing out Jesus frisbees and WWJD bracelets (side note, if you are going to do that, please just stay in your office!) They need us to sit with them, be normal, listen, and care enough to view their world with them, from where they are. This will enable us to shed the light of Godly wisdom on their seemingly dark and sometimes hopeless world.
Tips for Campus visits:
- Do not ever go alone. Take another youth leader or volunteer with you.
- Do not stay too long. Keep your visits short and sweet.
- Carry a cell phone, so if you get nervous, you can pretend to take an urgent call and leave.
- Write your visits in your calendar. If you do not schedule these times, you will find something easier to do.
- Keep going. Every time you go makes the next time easier.
- If the school will allow it, bring pizza with you. Pizza makes friends!
Want to try going back to school in your community. The Two Weeks Back experiment was designed from the beginning to be duplicated in communities around the country. Read more at www.twoweeksback.com.
Blog entries and a complete video diary of the Two Weeks Back experience are available at www.twoweeksback.com.
To schedule Scott to speak at your event or in your community, contact him directly at sgreene@wccconnect.com |
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