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    caring for grieving students
kevin mahaffy
Last week, my wife Adriana and I went to visit Sharon, the mother of one of our students. Three months ago, Sharon was up and running around, full of life. Also three months ago, she was diagnosed with cancer. Last week, Sharon was moved to hospice, the place where they take people when medicine can do no more. A place where people who are terminal can die with dignity and some degree of comfort.
When we arrived in Sharon's room, several folks from the church were there as well as some family members. After some greetings, we turned to see Sharon, but she was literally unrecognizable. I had never seen anything like it in my life. The affects of the chemo, etc. had caused her to deteriorate beyond recognition. She had been sleeping for two days straight when we arrived, only waking sporadically. When we talked and prayed with her, she was unresponsive. The first time I saw her respond was when her mother came in and kissed her forehead and told her mommy was here. She moaned, trying to say something, and raised her right arm to try and touch her, but then she fell back to sleep.
After some dialogue with the others in the room, we went to Sharon to say our goodbyes. My wife told her that she had taken her daughter out that morning and spent some time with her. My wife promised Sharon that she was going to continue to care for her. Sharon again tried many times to speak and raise her hand. Interestingly the two things that elicited a response from her were the voice of her mother and the voice of someone assuring her that her daughter was being cared for.
As my wife and I walked to the car, Adriana broke down. She cried almost the entire ride home. It had been a truly holy moment. We felt the weight and the privilege of being pastors during this difficult time.
Last night Sharon went to be with Jesus.
We are thankful. We thank the Lord for answering our prayer that Sharon's suffering would end. We thank God for the opportunity to know her. We thank Him for allowing us the privilege of saying goodbye and being able to give Sharon some peace so she could let go and go home to be with you.
Please pray for us as we shepherd Sharon's daughter and the rest of our youth through this difficult time. Also pray for her husband, her son, and their extended family.
I know that there is no formula for dealing with the difficulty of grief and loss, but here are a few reminders that I often think of and remind students of during these difficult times:
- Death is a reality we all face. (Job 1:21; Ecclesiastes 3:1-4)
- It's okay to grieve. (Even Jesus grieved. Read John 11:35.)
- Grieving is not a lack of faith (According to 1 Thessalonians 4:13, we don’t grieve as those who have no hope. But we DO grieve!")
- Go to God (Psalm 23:4). His rod & staff = His comfort, direction, and protection.
- Receive from God. Let who He is minister to you where you are at. (Isaiah 53:3; Hebrews 2:18; John 14:26; John 15:26)
- Trust in God. (Isaiah 55:9; Proverbs 3:5)
- We all die, but the question is how do we live?
"It is appointed for men to die once" (Hebrews 9:27)
"Now is the time of God's favor; today is the day of salvation (2 Corinthians 6:2).
http://www.simplyyouthministry.com/community-articles-from-the-field.html
kevin mahaffy
Last week, my wife Adriana and I went to visit Sharon, the mother of one of our students. Three months ago, Sharon was up and running around, full of life. Also three months ago, she was diagnosed with cancer. Last week, Sharon was moved to hospice, the place where they take people when medicine can do no more. A place where people who are terminal can die with dignity and some degree of comfort.
When we arrived in Sharon's room, several folks from the church were there as well as some family members. After some greetings, we turned to see Sharon, but she was literally unrecognizable. I had never seen anything like it in my life. The affects of the chemo, etc. had caused her to deteriorate beyond recognition. She had been sleeping for two days straight when we arrived, only waking sporadically. When we talked and prayed with her, she was unresponsive. The first time I saw her respond was when her mother came in and kissed her forehead and told her mommy was here. She moaned, trying to say something, and raised her right arm to try and touch her, but then she fell back to sleep.
After some dialogue with the others in the room, we went to Sharon to say our goodbyes. My wife told her that she had taken her daughter out that morning and spent some time with her. My wife promised Sharon that she was going to continue to care for her. Sharon again tried many times to speak and raise her hand. Interestingly the two things that elicited a response from her were the voice of her mother and the voice of someone assuring her that her daughter was being cared for.
As my wife and I walked to the car, Adriana broke down. She cried almost the entire ride home. It had been a truly holy moment. We felt the weight and the privilege of being pastors during this difficult time.
Last night Sharon went to be with Jesus.
We are thankful. We thank the Lord for answering our prayer that Sharon's suffering would end. We thank God for the opportunity to know her. We thank Him for allowing us the privilege of saying goodbye and being able to give Sharon some peace so she could let go and go home to be with you.
Please pray for us as we shepherd Sharon's daughter and the rest of our youth through this difficult time. Also pray for her husband, her son, and their extended family.
I know that there is no formula for dealing with the difficulty of grief and loss, but here are a few reminders that I often think of and remind students of during these difficult times:
- Death is a reality we all face. (Job 1:21; Ecclesiastes 3:1-4)
- It's okay to grieve. (Even Jesus grieved. Read John 11:35.)
- Grieving is not a lack of faith (According to 1 Thessalonians 4:13, we don’t grieve as those who have no hope. But we DO grieve!")
- Go to God (Psalm 23:4). His rod & staff = His comfort, direction, and protection.
- Receive from God. Let who He is minister to you where you are at. (Isaiah 53:3; Hebrews 2:18; John 14:26; John 15:26)
- Trust in God. (Isaiah 55:9; Proverbs 3:5)
- We all die, but the question is how do we live?
"It is appointed for men to die once" (Hebrews 9:27)
"Now is the time of God's favor; today is the day of salvation (2 Corinthians 6:2).
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